Dear Riley,
I’ve always strived for independence. I refused financial help from grandma/grandpa after starting my first year of college. I studied hard, and worked full time to pay for tuition. I would spend my own money on food, entertainment, and gadgets. I was far from being rich, but it was very rare that I felt like a “poor college student”. Contrast this with a lot of kids I knew who’s parents paid for their full tuition, room and board. Kids who got brand new BMW’s for getting into the school their parents had hoped for. I even knew kids who’s parents bought condos for them near campus. I thought to myself – I wasn’t like them. I didn’t need help from anyone. I actually *gave* money to mom and dad when times were tough. I took pride in being a “self made man”. I’ve learned over the years however, that there is no such thing as a self made man.
The reality is that every success we achieve has been influenced by somebody’s support along the way. To not see and acknowledge that, is to be unappreciative of those who have helped. My homie Isaac Newton said:
“If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants”
So true. Newton, one of the greatest contributors to scientific discovery in human history, realized that his success was built on the work of those in the past. Remember the story of how he discovered gravity when an apple fell from a tree and hit him in the head? He proved it through his Universal Law of Gravitation, which was made possible because Johannes Kepler’s work on the Laws of Planetary Motion more than half a century earlier.
The same concept can apply on a more personal level. Just look at my career, every job I got was due to someone helping:
- I was referred by uncle Dennis to current job at Fluor
- An ex-gf friend referred me to Allergan
- Aunt Tina referred me to Impac
- Grandpa referred me to Kingston
- And my very first job was at uncle Alex’s company
Grandma & Grandpa immigrated to the U.S. to give me a better opportunity. Grandpa was a star basketball player in Taiwan and gave all that up. Instead he worked in the shipping department of a home appliance manufacturer in Long Beach. The trade-off was that I’d have a better shot at success. They worked hard, and moved to a great neighborhood with excellent schools. They told me not get a job during high school, and to just focus on my studies (which I didn’t). I never had to worry about going hungry, being put in danger, or living in fear.
I’m not saying everything was handed to me, but it’s the culmination of support from family and friends that’s made it easier for me to accomplish my goals. I think it’s important to recognize this. Otherwise we’ll become too self centered and entitled. We won’t appreciate those that helped us along the way, and we risk alienating those that want to support us in future endeavors.
Love,
Dad
7/13/17
We celebrated your 2nd birthday last Sunday! It was a huge party, with 70 people coming over to celebrate with us. You had so much fun. It was really sweet the next morning, when you woke up in our bed, rolled over to me and said “thank you baba”.